By Melissa McWilliams, AGSS Program Manager

It’s hard to believe November is here already! 

In a month known for its celebration of what we’re thankful for, it seems fitting that this month would also be one to honor and bring awareness to the topic of adoption. It’s easy to view adoption simply as families generously opening their homes to children in need; however, this diminishes its complexity. On one hand, we have the beautiful picture of a child who has spent years in the foster care system, finally experiencing a forever family. We hear the heart -warming and provocative stories of adoption and its powerful impact not only on the child, but on the entire adoptive family.

On the other hand, we need to remember that adoption only exists because of something hard having happened first: A birth parent makes the life-altering choice to allow their child to be raised by someone else because they can’t. A child’s birth parents have had a court of law decide that they are no longer safe or capable to raise their child, and their parental rights have been terminated. A child’s birth parents are both deceased and someone else needs to be chosen to care for the child in their place. Whatever the reason, one thing is constant in the adoption journey – grief and loss.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’d like to offer thanks:

To those who have heard the call to adopt or be a guardian for a child in need, thank you. Thank you for knowingly walking into the unknown. Thank you for driving miles and miles to ensure sibling visits occur, or for utilizing every ounce of space in your home to adopt an entire sibling group. Thank you for managing appointments and care and needs. Thank you for loving unconditionally and for taking the brunt of powerful emotions. Thank you for sharing with your adopted children about their families and culture of origin, even when those positive details might have to be carefully extracted from painful stories.

To the child who has been adopted, thank you. Thank you for holding onto hope. Hope that hard circumstances don’t have to define you. Hope that a new family is out there for you. Hope that there are parents who will love you unconditionally, like you deserve. Hope that you can fit in and become a part of a new and often times established family, school, neighborhood, and community. Hope that you are worthy of something more than where you’ve been.

And thank you to the community who surround these children and parents. Thank you for listening without judgment. Thank you for offering respite, be it a few hours, days, or weeks. Thank you for offering a meal and giving of your own resources. Thank you for words of encouragement and daily prayers when situations look especially grim. Thank you for celebrating alongside when milestones are reached.

And may I suggest that as we celebrate families created through adoption and bring awareness to this important need, may it be our ultimate goal to be a country where every child who has experienced the loss of their birth parents never have their story end there.