Whether your child has joined your family through foster, kinship/guardianship, adoption, or biological circumstances, all children need to know their story and unique life experiences.
Richard Rose, an international therapeutic life story work expert, puts it this way, “Children need to know where they are from in order to know where they are going.”
Here are some ways in which you can help the children in your life know and celebrate those important details in their life:
Celebrate traditions
Is it a tradition to enjoy homemade breakfast on Easter morning, like at my house? Or for the child you gained through adoption, did their biological family always eat donuts as a birthday breakfast treat? Take the time to learn about these traditions and find a special way to document them in a treasured keepsake. Then make it a priority to celebrate them all throughout each year!
Create a cookbook
There is something about food that brings warm memories to our minds. To ensure that Grandma’s homemade apple pie or Uncle Hank’s BBQ ribs can be consumed at any point, assemble these recipes in one spot. A cookbook full of family-favorite recipes (including recipes from birth families!) can help us learn about each other and the foods that are important to us. It also allows foster or adoptive parents to prepare foods they know will bring some familiarity to the children now in their care. Not only is cooking together a great way to bond as a family, but now your child has recipes to take with them when they move out on their own someday! (Bonus that these also make great gifts!)
Start a Lifebook
Although this is a great idea for any child, a Lifebook is especially helpful for our children who come to us through fostering, kinship/guardianship, or adoption. A Lifebook gives children a tool to help them honor and remember their journey to their foster, kinship/guardianship, or adoptive home and gives them an opportunity to celebrate their heritage, culture, and beliefs. A Lifebook is also created to evolve as they move through different stages and phases of their life, so it is always being updated!
Fill out a Family Tree
A family tree can be a traditional tree whose branches include known relatives from both sides of the family. Or it can be less traditional and include anyone the child identifies as a part of their family: birth families, foster families, adoptive family, friends, pets, neighbors, service providers, youth pastors, mentors, teachers, bus drivers, just to name a few!
Author: Melissa McWilliams, MSCJ | Lifeline AGSS Program Manager
How Lifeline Helps with Adoption
Lifeline supports families through the adoption and guardianship journey by equipping them with knowledge, resources, and sustainable community supports to help build a safe and stable home.